When I came into the office yesterday, a guy from the company across the hall stopped me and said, “So, the Griffons are in town tomorrow to play Creighton, eh?” I thought to myself, the Griffons? Sweet, the crew from Family Guy has a barnstorming exhibition team now? Maybe Stewie and P’Allen will get into a dunk contest!
Alas, the Griffons are the mascot for Division II MIAA Missouri Western State. The guy across the hall grew up in St. Joseph, which is where MWS is located, hence his excitement — and hence his knowledge of a DII team I’d frankly never heard of. He wanted to bet lunch on the outcome, but my reply was to quote the prophet Dave Letterman: “Sir, this is not a competition, this is only an exhibition so please…no wagering.” You bet.
Tonight marks the second year in a row that the Jays open the exhibition portion of their schedule against an MIAA school from the Show-Me State. Last year’s 78-65 win over Central Missouri was an ugly affair that saw the Jays struggle to rebound and turn the ball over 17 times. I got sick shortly thereafter, although “doctors” would lead you to believe the cause was a stomach virus, and not sloppy basketball. I have my own theories. Either way, Central Missouri was just a pair of seasons removed from a DII Final Four, and had three starters back from that 31-4 team, so in retrospect a competitive game should not have been a total surprise. The Griffons are not that caliber of opponent. They were 14-16 a year ago, although they nearly made the DII NCAA Tournament when they took the conference title game into overtime.
One Big Paragraph with Lots O’Dots™: Despite their struggles a year ago, Missouri Western State has a solid tradition under their head coach Tom Smith, now in his 22nd season at the school. The Griffons have won five MIAA regular-season championships, four MIAA tournament titles, and have appeared in 10 NCAA Tournaments … The outlook for this season is mixed, as the coaches and media have wildly differing opinions of their talent. MIAA coaches pick them to finish fifth, while the media thinks they’ll finish eighth. You gotta love coaches and their reverse psychology theories … Creighton is 24-3 in exhibition games during the Dana Altman Era, with the only three losses coming to Global Sports (1999, 2000, 2003), which later changed their name to EA Sports, and which later disbanded after the NCAA banished such teams from playing exhibitions against DI schools.
The Last Time They Played: The Jays and Griffons have never met, except in my imagination, where the outcome was totally awesome. Creighton won 296-13 in a game that featured Kenny Lawson breaking the rim away from the backboard on a dunk and P’Allen executing a sick 720-degree fastbreak jam. As I said, it was totally awesome.
Gratuitous Linkage: Maxim presents the 12 Nerdiest Bowling Balls. I’m happy to report that I desire to own no more than three of them. Which three? Well, that’s for me to know and for you not to know.
Official Gametime Snack: The Griffon mascot is NOT a dog, believe it or not (knowledge of dog breeds is not something I possess in any measurable quantity), but still, I say buy yourself a hot dog tonight at the game. Sure, it’ll be rubbery and gross, like Qwest Center hot dogs predictably, nay, endearingly, tend to be, but it’ll also be delicious.
If the Griffon mascot is not named after the dog breed, then what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is it? I’m told its a mythical creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. Wait…
Dude. You. Can. Not. Be. Serious!?!?
That sounds like an oil painting from a 1970s heavy metal band album cover, and I LOVE IT. Body of a lion, head/wings of an eagle. Wolfmother, are you reading this? Your next album cover needs to have a Griffon on it. You’re welcome.
The Totally Random Song I’d Play Right Now if I was Still a Radio DJ: Lionel Richie, “Hello.” Hello, new season, is it me you’re looking for? I’ve wondered where you are, and I’ve wondered what you do…
True story to segue you into that song: My sophomore year at Creighton, I was in a 3D Forms class and one of the assignments was to sculpt a seashell out of plaster. Because I thought that sounded boring, I came into the studio after hours and decided to create a plaster bust of the professor. It looked nearly as bad as the Lionel bust in the Hello video, except I didn’t have the excuse of being blind. If you must know, I got a B on the seashell and a stern lecture on the bust.
Prediction: Jays 87, Griffons 61. Kenny Lawson lays down the law, son, with 17 points and 10 rebounds.
You bet.